Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
