If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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