Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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