when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
