my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
this hospital has no fireball
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
