My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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