He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
