Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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