ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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