Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Who died my cat blue again?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
