You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
