if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
