I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
