pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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