im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
