There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
