Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
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He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
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She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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