You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
