Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
