I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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