did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
