Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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