Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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