Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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