i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
