No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
