If i come over, it means nothing
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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