Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Life without a bra equals bliss.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
