just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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