Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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