Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I wear drunk well.
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