I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
