i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
