I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
