Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
