it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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