whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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