i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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