Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize