I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
