Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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