U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
