Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
