margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
