Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
