i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
