I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
