Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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