well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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