piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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