Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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