I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
