every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
