I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
