i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize