I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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